Daybook -- 7/26/10

Outside my window... the sunflowers are drooping. We had a couple of very hot days at the end of last week. It is cooler now, but many of the plants still look like they'd like a nap.

I am thinking...that I hope I can focus on the things I need to do this week, and not the irrational worry that keeps nagging at my mind. My life would be so much easier if I could shed this anxiety disorder for good, instead of just keeping it at bay.

I am thankful for... the tools that let me deal with anxiety without dissolving in a puddle. Until I was diagnosed twelve years ago, I would have periods when I was paralyzed by anxiety, eventually reaching panic attack levels. Now I'm mostly fine, with occasional bouts like this one.

From the kitchen... well, I microwaved the sauerkraut for the bratwurst Roger grilled. And I set the table. Does that count?

I am wearing... a turquoise t-shirt, blue and turquoise flowered capris, and tan sandals.

I am creating... settings for the Gospel antiphons for the next quarter. They sneaked up on me again, and I wish I had the whole three-year cycle done. But every time we get a new priest, the expectations change. I think this round will finish it, but it's hard to know.

I am going... to the library again but not tonight. Why is it that when I place holds on several books, they each become available right after I pick up the last one? Sometimes I've made two library runs in one day. Sigh.

I am reading... Deceiver, the latest of the Foreigner series I first mentioned here. (That was the last trip to the library.) The Sara Rosett book in this post was also good, and I'm moving on to the rest of the series. It's not "great literature", but so refreshing to read a novel where the characters are looking for a church in their new town, and say a prayer when they hear someone's in the hospital. Not explicitly Christian like Jan Karon's books, but more like me than not.

I am hoping...that I can figure out which things on the grocery list are needs, and which are wants. And which are a mistake. I now have four bottles of A-1 Sauce, because I forgot where I keep my extras in this house, and bought extra extras. But at a good deal.....

I am hearing... music on Kelson's computer. I don't recognize it, but that's not unusual. And it's neither too loud or too raucous. So I guess it's DIY Muzak...

Around the house... the day is winding down. Roger is at Bible study, I have just one more thing to do after this, and Kelson has plans to go long-boarding, which may or may not happen.

One of my favorite things... is Lindt 70% dark chocolate. But I've had my square for today.

A few plans for the rest of the week: grocery shopping, and a trip to see the grandchildren. And Miriel comes home!!

Words I'm pondering : "If your son asks for a fish, will you give him a snake?" I wish I trusted God as much as I should. And that would help with the anxiety, too.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing... our grandson Matthew turned two yesterday, and his party will be next weekend so that "Aunt Mi-wa" can be there. And of course the cake will feature "tankem enin"! This is for you, Matthew!