Ten Things about Roger and Me

Although I'm several days late, I'm adding this to the "Ten Things about Me and My Better Half" thing that Hallie started over at Betty Beguiles. This link will take you to the join-in post, if anybody else gets inspired.

1. I am almost seven years older than he is. (Six years, eight months, and 19 days, to be exact.) This was especially weird when we were first getting to know each other, and I would refer to significant historical events. For example, I know exactly where I was when President Kennedy was assassinated (Home Ec. class.*) He doesn't have a clue, because he was in kindergarten at the time.

2. Now, thirty years later, I get all the benefit of the discrepancy. My hair, although graying, maintains a kind of overall brown tone. Roger's formerly black hair and beard are fast approaching solid white. (This is a very flattering color for his complexion, I'm glad to say.) So when people know approximately how old he is, they automatically assume that I am younger. Easiest way in the world to take ten years off your age!

3. We are both Tolkien nerds. This ought to be obvious, since we named our daughter Arwen! It also contributes, though, to why Roger was willing to consider an "older woman."
Shortly after we met, we were both at a weekend church event, and there was a Lord of the Rings game of some sort sitting there. I mentioned that I was a big fan, and he (thinking he was talking to some kind of mild enthusiast) asked me his sheep-from-the-goats question: "How did Frodo's father die?"** The rest is history.

4. Roger is a lark who likes to get up with the sun, or even before. He's at his best in the morning. I am an owl, who drags herself out of bed, but could stay up to all hours of the night, especially if there is good conversation or good literature. This has been a stressor for us at times, but we seem to have finally reached a workable plan.

5. One of us is more musical, but which one depends on your definition. I sing in the choir at church, play (at) the flute and guitar, and always have a snatch of song as a commentary on what I see or hear. Roger, although he has a nice baritone, only sings at mass, and has never played an instrument. But he's the one with a constant playlist going on his computer as he works. I (to my shame) don't even have iTunes installed.

6. He likes coffee. I like tea. Fifteen years ago, that would have been the end of the story. But then I began to drink fast-food mochas as a cheap hot beverage in the winter. And he began to have an afternoon cup of tea, when he didn't feel like brewing a new pot of coffee. So now we're to the point where I might actually order decaf at a restaurant after dinner (especially if I can get it with Baileys!), or he might have tea. But not usually.

7. Roger is very easy to buy clothes for. Classic, woven, blue, sometimes buttondown. The end. I, however am difficult, even for myself. It has to be the right shade of whatever color, with sleeves that fit, and an acceptable neckline, and not too clingy, but not boxy, and on and on and on.... He, to his credit, has not given up on buying me presents. This past Christmas, he hit five for five. See why I love the man?

8. Both of us are avid readers. Of anything and everything, not just Tolkien. (Although we do have a full four-shelf bookcase full of nothing but works by or about the Inklings. I know that if there was a local literary pub, with a writers discussion group, he'd be there.) He tends a little more toward classics and historical non-fiction, while I lean more toward mysteries, certain kinds of sci-fi / fantasy, and general fluff. But both of us find sitting in the living room with our books and occasionally sharing the "good parts" a satsifying evening.

9. One difference is that Roger is a writer, and I am not. Oh, I am quite literate, and I do post to this blog occasionally! But I write in lieu of conversation with all of you, and I can't do fiction at all, only parody. (Come to think of it, maybe that's why I like these meme-style post prompts; it's just putting my spin on somebody else's writing...) He, however, is a published author, and regularly sends long and fascinating hand-written letters to a variety of people. It's one of my regrets that we were never apart long enough after we met for me to have any of his letters stashed away. I have a couple of birthday notes and poems, though.

10. We'll celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary in August. Some of the days have seemed long, but the years have been all too short. I hope that God sees fit to give us 30 more. I love you, honey!

*For all you young things -- Home Ec. is short for Home Economics, where we learned things like cooking and sewing and how to set a pretty table. It was a nice break from History and French. The boys took Shop, where they made wall clocks in the shape of a flying goose. We got real skirts and dresses and good things to eat. Sex discrimination for the win!

** He drowned.

Happy Anniversary, Roger!

I'm just dropping into the blogosphere for a minute to wish my dear husband Roger a happy 29th anniversary. (He reads my blog ;-D ) I didn't get him a card, but I made him a cherry pie, and we're going out to dinner to celebrate.

Happy Anniversary, Darlin'!

It's been great so far, and I'm looking forward to as many more years as possible.

Love you!
Ellen

Seven Quick Takes -- Wow, Two weeks Goes Fast!

1) As I updated my last post, our friend Fr. Paul died on Saturday the 20th. Since Roger is his executor, that swept us into a whirlwind of funeral arrangements usually dealt with by the family. (His niece was here, and two of his nephews were able to make it for the funeral, but we were the "local people" and had all the paperwork.) Archbishop Vigneron was able to come and say the funeral mass. There were another bishop and twelve priests concelebrating, plus a deacon to read the Gospel, and combined choirs from local parishes sang. At first I was disappointed at the size of the congregation, which looked about like 8AM mass on a Sunday. But the archbishop assured us that for a priest who had been officially retired for almost 20 years, the turnout was huge. I don't think anyone who knew Fr. Paul could help but love him, and as many as possible came out to demonstrate that.

2) The tiring part of dealing with Fr. Paul's death was not the visitation or the funeral. It was cleaning out his "apartment" at the senior care facility. The St. Vincent dePaul folks came and hauled away much of his furniture and any clothes and linens that were worth donating, but somebody (us plus his niece, nephew, and the nephew's wife) had to sort it, decide what to donate, what was trash, and what somebody might want. The nephew and his wife left with a van packed full of audio classes on CD and assorted decorative and sentimental items, some of which they were going to pass along to the other nephew, who couldn't stay that long. The niece took as much as she could cram into her suitcase for the flight. WE still have several boxes of photos and such which we are planning to distribute to local friends of Fr. Paul.

3) Cleaning out his apartment meant that I had no time to spend on organizing all the "stuff" in OUR basement, which I have determined to do by Easter. On the upside, I now have two more bookcases to fill. On the downside, I now have five more boxes of books to sort. I am hoping to donate a number of books to the Friends of the Library ( mostly Roger's collection of "airport books"), but all of Fr. Paul's books that nobody wanted have already been donated. I'm going to need those bookcases!

4) On a related note, I'm actually wistfully hoping to be able to BUY two bookcases to set in our living room corner. We have a couple that would do for the space, but I found some assemble-it-yourself ones for a great price, and I'd love to have something matching and new. We'll see! To this end I have measured all the shelves of our current bookcases, and when I sort the books I intend to measure the linear feet they will take up. If I need the new bookcases I will buy them..... somehow.

5) I do have a little bit of money toward a bookcase, a birthday gift from my mother-in-law. I turned 59 (!) last Saturday. I'm not a big fan of cake, although Roger offered to make one, but I did get to celebrate. A local musical group played for a contra dance in a parish gym in town, and for only the second or third time in our marriage, Roger and I went dancing! Full disclaimer: neither one of us really cares for "regular" dancing, and we've gone every time we were free if there was square or contra dancing. When I was single and lived in Ohio, a bunch of us used to go to square dances almost every weekend in some Grange hall or other, and just like riding a bicycle, lots of it came back quickly. There was some talk of repeating the dance on a quarterly basis or so, and if they do, we'll be there. (There is a video on the link to the band. Roger and I are at the right end of the gym; I'm wearing a green skirt. We show up at about 1:53 into it.)

6) Since our son-in-law Bryan had to make a business trip, Arwen and Camilla and Blaise came to visit from Monday through Wednesday. Blaise has apparently inherited Roger's "morning person" personality, since he seems to think that 5:30AM is a perfectly reasonable time for a one-year-old to start the day. Arwen was very glad to hand him off to Grandpa and go back to sleep! Camilla at the same age used to sleep until 9, so Blaise has been kind of a shock. ;-D I'm always glad to see them, but this time I heaved a tiny sigh. Arwen has been decluttering her house for Lent (40 Bags in 40 Days), and she brought back a great big plastic bin of books they have borrowed from us. (The first time I typed the last sentence, I inadvertently hit Caps Lock, and everything from "brought" came out in caps. I considered leaving it that way........)

7) Yesterday was our LAST EVER Quiz Bowl league tournament. Arwen started playing in 6th grade in 1994 (our town has a middle school league), and one or more kids have been involved at some level ever since. We know which teams have the buzzer system that makes that annoying "Brrrzat" noise, we know most of the coaches by sight, and we know how to find the restrooms in every school in the league. We also know a lot about how the league trophy looks, since it spends most of its time at our school!

Yesterday was no exception. Kelson's team had already come in first in the league (19 wins, 2 losses) and won a tournament sponsored by the local community college. They won the league tournament as well! I must admit I wish they didn't have a penchant for winning double-elimination competitions by working their way up the losers bracket. We could have been home an hour sooner if they hadn't had to beat the last team twice.

Now it's on to states, where they will do an acceptable job and come home in the middle of the second day. Many schools in the more urban areas make Quiz Bowl a regular class, where the teams study assorted topics and get graded on their performance. In our league it's strictly extra-curricular, and the kids play with the knowledge they bring to it just from pursuing their own interests. I like the perspective Arwen had when she played in her first state tournament -- "I think we had more fun losing than they had winning!" That's the way I want my kids to view knowledge and study; as a game, not a chore. I think they get it.

Seven Quick Takes are hosted at Conversion Diary.

Happy Birthday Roger!

Today is Roger's birthday, and I have a gift to wrap. Choir is singing at 11:30, and then we are having a birthday dinner of steak, salad, rolls, cherry pie, and wine. I made the pie yesterday, but the rolls are from scratch and I'm also making a blueberry cobbler for Kelson, who doesn't like cherry pie. So I'll be busy most of the day.

I may or may not be back with another post (!) when the festivities are over. See y'all then or Monday!